A Mother's Thoughts on Bullying

My son, who is 11, has been bullied in school for the past 2 years. It's verbal abuse...name calling, teasing, doing things that bother him & excluding him. He has no friends... No one at school who will stand up for him and show him kindness.

The school plays lip service to our complaints, but nothing gets done. (I understand this is normal procedure) The kids tease, name call...My son reacts negatively and guess what? He's the one getting in trouble. My son doesn't trust the teachers anymore. He doesn't feel safe in school because he feels the teachers won't protect him.

Nick has been diagnosed with moderate ADHD, anxiety & depression. He has difficulty socializing with other kids, so this makes it more difficult for him because the kids just tease him that much more for his social ineptness.

Yes my son can be annoying and very trying at times. (Sometimes I don't even want to be around him!) But does that justify what these kids are doing to him? Does that give them the right to make him a scapegoat for their inadequacies?

You see I know why kids bully. I've read enough articles, talked to more than my share of counselors/teachers/others....And read books to understand. These kids bully because they are feeling bad about themselves. sooo it makes me wonder what's going on in their lives to do this to others... It makes me wonder about their parents and how they treat these kids... And ultimately I blame the parents for raising their children to be this way.... To not be involved in their kids lives not to see the clues until it's too late...Until a life gets taken...Either innocent or not!

My son has endured this hell for 2 years, and now he is starting to push back. He just got suspended for 2 school days because he fought back while being teased. Those boys just got a talking to! Where is the fairness in that. Having said that, I will admit that the school had to discipline Nick as they did. He did commit violence...But I still fail to understand why the school felt that boys actions were trivial compared to Nick's actions. It was still an attack... It was still an act of aggression.

My son suffers from low self esteem, and recently has talked frequently about how his life sucks. Sometimes he tells me he wishes he never lived & would be happier dead. This scares me...I stand up and I listen and I watch....HE finds little joy in doing things he used to like (other than playstation... He wants to play that all the time now). He's even lost interest in Tae-Kwon-Do - it just doesn't hold any interest for him anymore.

I know this is his depression talking. Having been cursed with this dastardly illness for the past 10 years... I recognize the signs. I'm 45 & still have difficulty... He's 11! I can't imagine going through it at his age. I will say that he has great strength to endure like he does....He doesn't know it, and wouldn't believe me if I told him...But he really does.

I could really use some advice on dealing with the school. I'm tired of talking to the teachers & principal. I think it's time to take this elsewhere...But am unsure of where to go.

I don't want my son to be another statistic.